The Bright
Side! 8-)
Love yourself, Love others, Love your Life.
~~~~~~~~~~
Vol. 1, Issue #24
February 14, 2001
www.BrightSideCoaching.com
ISSN: 1530-4334
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Happy Valentine's Day!
Mastering Motivation
Soul Restoration Tip
A Resource you Can Use???
Contact Info
~~~~~~~~~~
Happy Valentine's Day! Yes, it's the day to make that someone special feel ... well ...
somewhat special. Whether you have a sweetheart or not, be sure to treat yourself well and
know that loving yourself is the beginning of all great loves. :)
(If you have trouble with this concept, please see
www.brightsidecoaching.com/bs053100.htm and read the article Heart Healing 101).
I have, on many occasions, been accused (by men, women and children of all ages!) of being
an incurable romantic. I've never understood why this is
perceived as a negative thing, but I suspect it's because people feel
uncomfortable with the genuine emotional exchange that takes place when one is willing to
be vulnerable.
Whether you are in a relationship currently or anticipating one in the
future, know when you truly share your authentic self with a special someone, you can
build bridges that the Golden Gate pales in comparison to! Sure it's scary, but romance is
fun! Isn't that what the human experience is all about?
Build your bridges, mend your fences, and have the best Valentine's Day ever!
With Love from a Romantic,
Beth
PS. Quick gift idea for your Valentine: I Love You, Ronnie -- The Letters of Ronald Reagan
to Nancy Reagan. Wow!!!
~~~~~~~~~~
Mastering Motivation
Since coaching is still a rather new profession, I am often asked what
exactly it is that I do. My short 30 second elevator answer is, "I partner
with people on their goals -- professionally and personally." Most often
folks are fascinated with the concept of coaching and want to learn more.
One gentleman recently asked me how I motivate my clients. I thought this was an
interesting and certainly a valid question to wonder about. The truth is that most people
who come to coaching are already motivated. They are ready to make substantial changes in
their lives and they want an objective partner to be a sounding board and to hold them
accountable. That's what I do.
But there's more to it than that. A coach (or anyone else who works with
people) has to discern what type attitude the client has toward his or her
situation and then choose wording that is tailored to get the person to take action. I
listen carefully for the clues and ask provocative and artful
questions.
Human behavior is the result of one of two desires: either to gain pleasure
or to avoid pain. We are motivated by either one as they can be equally
powerful but each requires a different set of skills to understand. Very
simply, we are continually moving toward a situation (to gain pleasure) OR
away from a situation (to avoid pain). When you know which direction a
person is taking you can motivate them accordingly.
So how can you know this information? It's pretty simple actually. You just ask what is
important to them and then listen carefully to the answer.
Here's an example:
Scenario 1: TOWARD
Beth: What's important to you about your job?
John: To be able to work creatively, inspire people and achieve my goals.
(John is motivated by moving TOWARD to gain pleasure.)
Beth: OK, so what actions can you commit to taking this week to finish your project and
see that you accomplish your goal of ... ?
OR Scenario 2: AWAY
Beth: What's important to you about your job?
Mary: That I am left alone to get my work done.
(Mary is motivated by moving AWAY to avoid pain.)
Beth: Yes, if you don't shut your office door and let voicemail pick your
messages, that's not going to happen. There will be interruptions. Can you
commit to doing these things so you are able to get your work done?
One can use this questioning and listening in almost any situation to figure
out which way a person organizes his or her behavior. Simply ask, "What's
important to you about ...? [relationships, career, spirituality, learning,
etc.] Then listen carefully for the clues a person tells you in answering
that simple question. Once you know that, you know how to question them and motivate them
in a way that gets them to take action.
When you understand and know where people are coming from, you can change your approach
with them and then change the results you get.
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Soul Restoration Tip
Thoughts from:
A Short Guide To A Happy Life by Anna Quindlen.
1. You are the only person alive who has sole custody of
your life, your entire life, your soul.
2. You cannot really be first-rate at your work if your work
is all you really are.
3. The best piece of advice I could give anyone is pretty simple:
GET A LIFE. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion,
the bigger paycheck, the larger house.
4. Love is not leisure, it is work.
5. I am still a student, still learning every day how to be a human.
6. Care so deeply about the glory of life and its goodness that you
want to spread it around every day.
7. Knowledge of our own mortality is the greatest gift God ever gives us.
8. It is so easy to exist instead of live.
9. Today is the only guarantee we have.
10. School never ends. The classroom is everywhere.
And above all......
LOOK AT THE VIEW. Every single day in some little way.....
Look at the view!!!
(Special thanks for these notes from Steve Shull who can be visited on the web at
www.steveshull.com. Steve has a great message and an awesome newsletter!)
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A Resource You Can Use???
OK, I generally don't promote sites such as this one, but I can't resist.
This is the one to visit when you are feeling exceptionally cheerful! Check
out www.despair.com. I am sure no one on THIS list has ever felt this way, but you may be
able to find a suitable gift for someone you know there. ;)
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Thanks for sharing your time with me. If you enjoyed reading this, please
pass it along to others and encourage them to join The Bright Side community.
Thank you!
Be sure to read upcoming issues for exciting opportunities coming soon.
There are some neat things in the works at BrightSide Coaching!
My wish for you on Valentine's Day is that you are joyfully and gratefully
filled with love! (and that you get some chocolate!) :)
Enjoy your day,
Beth
Professional Life Coach / Writer / Human Being
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Contact Info
Copyright 2001 Beth Pugh
Attribution required for distribution/duplication.
Your name is secure and will not be sold or used unethically.
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Email: Beth@BrightSideCoaching.com OR BethBrightSide@aol.com
Tel: 678-938-0419
www.BrightSideCoaching.com
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