The Bright Side! 8-)
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Love yourself, Love others, Love your Life.
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Vol. 2, Issue # 39                  October 3, 2001
www.BrightSideCoaching.com      ISSN: 1530-4334
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Welcome
The Faces of Fear
Soul Restoration Tip
Contact Info
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Hi! Well, we made it past 3000 subscribers! As of right now, we have 3022 subscribers. That is so cool! Thank you for sharing this message with others who would benefit. Thank you for passing it on!

The following article is about fears -- the good and the bad kind. If you'd like to read more about fear, I wrote a little story several years ago that has been sent around cyberspace and printed in several publications. You can access it at www.brightsidecoaching.com/faith.htm.

With Love,
Beth
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The Faces of Fear


Fear is like fire. If controlled it will help you;
if uncontrolled it will rise up and destroy you.
~ John F. Milburn

I want to talk with you today about fear. I consider myself somewhat of an expert on the topic of fear. I have been on both sides of the Fear Fence -- paralyzed by it and propelled forward by it. It's a subject everyone these days seems to have an opinion on. After the horror of September 11, 2001, it is a topic I hear over and over again in my conversations with clients and with groups.

Here is what I share with them:

1. THINK SMART! Fear is a survival instinct. Just as it is with animals, so it is with us –- the function is to protect us. It is a natural law that warns us of a sense of danger. If we listen to the prompting of our intuition we realize that fear is something we can rely on over and over again to keep us safe from harm. Learn to listen to the hints it gives. Be aware of what goes on around you. Pay attention to what your gut sense tells you.

If something doesn’t feel right for you, acknowledge it and trust yourself. In Gavin De Becker’s (see www.gavindebecker.com) excellent bestseller, The Gift of Fear, he writes, “Belief is a key element in recognizing when you are in the presence of danger. That belief balances denial, the cunning enemy of successful predictions in dangerous situations.”

Notice it, believe it, respect it. Fear can be a friend!

2. BE FEARLESS! The other face of fear is the commonly known acronym
F. E. A. R. -- false evidence appearing real. This kind of fear is NOT our friend. This face of fear is a facade -- masking reality and keeping people from getting what they truly want in life. Typically, these fears revolve around:

* a fear of the unknown
* a fear of failure
* a fear of rejection
* a fear of being judged
*a fear of losing power
* a fear of success and many other misnomers.

These fears prohibit you from being your best and authentic self.

Some people panic at uncertainty and dare not venture out of their comfort zone. In her book, Fearless Living, author Rhonda Britton (see www.fearlessliving.org) writes that "fear is the gatekeeper of your comfort zone." She writes further that "our resistance to change is a symptom of how strong a hold fear has on us."

Be alarmed when other people play on your fears -- using tactics such as manipulation, obligation, pressure and guilt to keep you from your dreams and well-being. This results in a total erosion of self-worth and the noose of fear tightens. Don't fall prey to these strategies for others' emotional gain -- this illusion of fear will render you in complete misery and you will shortchange the world of your greatness.
{For more information on this see Emotional Blackmail, by Susan Forward (see www.susanforward.com.)}

When I was once disabled by fear and really stuck, a great friend told me this: if you are waiting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, go and light up the damn thing yourself. :-) Great advice! I accepted the challenge and have not regretted it.

Take whatever is going on in your life right now and LIVE WELL! Live outloud! Be outrageous! Be real! Show up! Revere life! Mess it up! Clean it up! Be resilient! Persist! Take a chance! Create! Have faith! Believe in the best! Celebrate who you are! Create the life you deserve!

Be fully present in your life. Today is what we have. How can we be 100% here each moment? In The Power of Now, Eckhardt Tolle (see www.eckhardttolle.com) reminds us that "we are not our mind." Fear can only grip us when we allow it to happen.

Let your heart be both the gage for true danger and the catalyst for an authentic life. Take real fears and pay close attention to them as your friend. Take false fears and thumb your nose at them! Above all, LIVE WELL!

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Soul Restoration Tip

Book Recommendation (HIGHLY recommended!): Dave Pelzer (see www.davepelzer.com) is a guy who knows a whole lot about recognizing real fear and overcoming false fear. He was a victim of one of the most heinous child abuse cases in history. He has written the best-selling series based on his horrific life: A Child Called It, The Lost Boy, and A Man Called Dave.

His current book is called Help Yourself: Finding Hope, Courage and Happiness. In this book, Dave shares how one can move beyond a painful history, harmful negative thoughts, and innumerable setbacks by taking control and being accountable for our lives.

The strategy:
1. Get rid of the garbage in your life.
2. Know what you want out of life.
3. Celebrate who you are and what you have.
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I'd like to offer coaching services to those with whom this e-zine resonates. I work closely with people who want the support to create a life based on esteem and worth -- not on false assumptions and fear. If you think I can help you recognize the value of fear and the illusion of fear in your life, please feel free to contact me. It could be one of the best gifts you could ever give yourself!

My wish for you -- safety -- physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Wholeheartedly,
Beth
Professional Life Coach /Writer / Human Being
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Contact Info

Copyright 2001 Beth Burns
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Beth Burns is a Professional Life Coach -- partnering with motivated people on their personal and professional goals. Her mission is to teach people to love themselves and love their life! She offers two free email newsletters and can be visited on the web at www.BrightSideCoaching.com . She can also be reached by calling 678-938-0419 or by email Beth@BrightSideCoaching.com.