Mastering Motivation
Since coaching is still a rather new profession, I am often asked what
exactly it is that I do. My short 30 second elevator answer is, "I partner
with people on their goals -- professionally and personally." Most often
folks are fascinated with the concept of coaching and want to learn more.

One gentleman recently asked me how I motivate my clients. I thought this was an interesting and certainly a valid question to wonder about. The truth is that most people who come to coaching are already motivated. They are ready to make substantial changes in their lives and they want an objective partner to be a sounding board and to hold them accountable. That's what I do.

But there's more to it than that. A coach (or anyone else who works with
people) has to discern what type attitude the client has toward his or her
situation and then choose wording that is tailored to get the person to take action. I listen carefully for the clues and ask provocative and artful
questions.

Human behavior is the result of one of two desires: either to gain pleasure
or to avoid pain. We are motivated by either one as they can be equally
powerful but each requires a different set of skills to understand. Very
simply, we are continually moving toward a situation (to gain pleasure) OR
away from a situation (to avoid pain). When you know which direction a
person is taking you can motivate them accordingly.

So how can you know this information? It's pretty simple actually. You just ask what is important to them and then listen carefully to the answer.
Here's an example:

Scenario 1: TOWARD

Beth: What's important to you about your job?

John: To be able to work creatively, inspire people and achieve my goals.
(John is motivated by moving TOWARD to gain pleasure.)

Beth: OK, so what actions can you commit to taking this week to finish your project and see that you accomplish your goal of ... ?

OR Scenario 2: AWAY

Beth: What's important to you about your job?

Mary: That I am left alone to get my work done.
(Mary is motivated by moving AWAY to avoid pain.)

Beth: Yes, if you don't shut your office door and let voicemail pick your
messages, that's not going to happen. There will be interruptions. Can you
commit to doing these things so you are able to get your work done?

One can use this questioning and listening in almost any situation to figure
out which way a person organizes his or her behavior. Simply ask, "What's
important to you about ...? [relationships, career, spirituality, learning,
etc.] Then listen carefully for the clues a person tells you in answering
that simple question. Once you know that, you know how to question them and motivate them in a way that gets them to take action.

When you understand and know where people are coming from, you can change your approach with them and then change the results you get.

Soul Restoration Tip

Recently, I rediscovered an old book that brought many hours of pleasure to my family. Here I'll share some childhood poems that will bring a smile to your face. :-) These are from Shel Silverstein's classic Where the Sidewalk Ends. Remember and enjoy ...

Invitation

If you are a dreamer, come in,
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,
A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer ...
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin.
Come in! Come in!
~~~
Forgotten Language

Once I spoke the language of flowers,
Once I understood each word the caterpillar said,
Once I smiled in secret at the gossip of the starlings,
And shared in a conversation with the housefly in my bed.
Once I heard and answered all the questions of the crickets,
And joined the crying of each falling dying flake of snow,
Once I spoke the language of the flowers ...
How did it go? How did it go?
~~~
Hug O' War

I will not play at tug o'war.
I'd rather play at hug o'war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.

My Wish For You

If you are interested in exploring coaching -- everything from being motivated to adding some childlike wonder and joy to your life, please consider having a conversation with me. I offer a complimentary session to see if we might work well together. It's my passion to see people living authentically and from their heart. It's great to be a coach! :-)

My Wish for you -- endless days of enlightenment and lightness,

Beth

Coach / Writer / Human Being

Contact Information

Beth Burns is a Professional Life Coach -- partnering with motivated people on their personal and professional goals. Her mission is to teach people to love themselves and to love the life they create. She offers two free email newsletters and can be visited on the web at www.BrightSideCoaching.com. She can also be reached by calling 678-938-0419 or by email at Beth@BrightSideCoaching.com