The Bright Side! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~
Vol. 2, Issue 45 January 9, 2002 www.BrightSideCoaching.com ISSN: 1530-4334
~~~~~~~~~~ Welcome! Being Independent and Interdependent, but Not Codependent Soul Restoration Tip Contact Info ~~~~~~~~~~
Good Morning! Welcome to 2002 and to this issue of The Bright Side! We had lots of new folks join us in the past month during our Holiday break -- thanks for being here! Please help us grow by sharing this e-zine and inviting others to join us. So here we are. Have you thought about your intentions for this year? What do you want for yourself? What would be a true expression of your authentic self? Instead of focusing on resolutions and goals, why not create a THEME for yourself for 2002? To me, that seems like a simpler course that all the "shoulds" that come from resolutions and goals. Here are some examples of themes: If It's To Be, It's Up To Me 2002 -- The Year Dreams Come True Opening My Heart to All That Can Be Faith, Family, Fitness and Finances Dream Job 2002 The Year of My Spiritual Journey Flying High and Having Fun in 2002 2002: Connecting to Others with Love A Healthy You in 2002 Living Outrageously and Outloud! You get the idea! Come up with your own and let me know your theme for this year. Please email me your theme and I will put them all in one email to share. You would be surprised at how effective it is to keep a simple thought in mind throughout the year and then to work towards it. Go for it! With Love, Beth
~~~~~~~~~~~ Being Independent and Interdependent, but Not Codependent
I was communicating with a wise friend and we were talking about relationships. We were talking about romantic relationships at the time, but after thinking about it, the exchange we shared could be true of any significant relationship -- between friends, coworkers, employees, and parents with children. We all want healthy, happy relationships in which we fully express who we are and we want the other person to authentically express who he/she is. I mentioned that the end result is that we want to be "INDEPENDENT, INTERDEPENDENT BEINGS WITHOUT BEING CODEPENDENT." Yikes! What the heck does that mean?! OK, I admit, it's a little "coachy" sounding, but let me explain what I mean here. By INDEPENDENT, I mean that each one of us can function as a self-reliant person. We are aware of what our special gifts are and who we are in relation to ourselves, to others, and to God. We know we are unique individuals who are free to be who we want to be. By trusting that we are wonderful just as we are (although always a work in progress), we make a valuable contribution to the world. Our independence and acceptance of responsibility allows us to have boundaries in place that help others know how to respond to us and know what is acceptable for us. Autonomy allows us to safely, fully express our needs and desires to those we are in relation with. By INTERDEPENDENCE, I mean that we all need other people. Even though we are independent beings, we are not meant to be alone. We are all interrelated and everyone needs to feel needed. You have your gifts and other people have theirs. Why not leverage the odds and work together to support one another? Interdependence is your connection with others -- it's often the measuring stick for the quality of your life. How well you can relate and how comfortable others feel relating to you is crucial for a joyful life. Your interactions and communication together can create extraordinary outcomes! Some people may feel that needing others is a sign of weakness, but with interdependence, the essence is really about working with a partner (or team) toward a common goal. It's empowering and it's a choice born of strengths and respect. Interdependence is wanting the best for others -- valuing, trusting and cherishing their unique abilities, while still being secure about your own. On the other hand, there is CODEPENDENCY. Codependency allows the actions of others to determine the quality of our life. It is based on self-limiting beliefs and caretaking of others with little regard for yourself. I believe most of us want to please others and can, therefore, be categorized as codependent to a certain degree, but I am describing something far more oppressing here. Earnie Larsen, an expert in codependency, describes it as: "Those self-defeating, learned behaviors that result in a diminished capacity to initiate or participate in loving relationships." I always think of codependency as loving others more than we love ourselves. While I will agree that being of service to others is of the utmost importance, being singularly focused on others with little regard for the gift that YOU are is not what God intended for us. In the Bible (see Leviticus 19:18, Mark 12:31 and Romans 13:9), we are charged to "love our neighbors AS OURSELVES." Therefore, the objective remains "INDEPENDENT INTERDEPENDENCE WITHOUT CODEPENDENCY." Take an honest look at your relationships -- both personally and professionally -- are you being responsible in your relations? What actions can you take to improve on them? The only way to make things better is to be aware, acknowledge and then act. Action is the key to changing the way things are and the gateway to something even better. And you definitely deserve that!
~~~~~~~~~~ Soul Restoration Tip
Psychologists tell us that every one of us thinks an average of between 65,000 and 70,000 thoughts a day and 90 to 95% of those thoughts are repetitive. They're the same thoughts we've always thought and they become the patterns of our thinking. Thought patterns create the experiences of our lives. Listen to your thoughts today. Are they negative, self-limiting, self-diminishing? Or are they radiant with joy and life and creativity? We can change our thinking, and we can change the pattern of our lives. Herein lies the secret to authentic power. --Mary Manin Morrissey
~~~~~~~~~~ Thanks for reading these words and applying what is applicable for you to your life. If I can support you further through a coaching partnership, I would love to explore the possibilities! I am scheduling appointments for the New Year now so feel free to contact me! My phone number is 678-938-0419. Wishing you many wonderful new beginnings in 2002! Oh yeah ... I look forward to hearing about your theme for 2002. Bring them on! :-) Beth Coach /Writer / Human Being
~~~~~~~~~~ Beth Burns is a Professional Life Coach -- partnering with motivated people on their personal and professional goals. Her mission is to teach people to love themselves and to love the life they create. She offers two free email newsletters and can be visited on the web at www.BrightSideCoaching.com. She can also be reached by calling 678-938-0419 or by email at Beth@BrightSideCoaching.com ~~~~~~~~~~ Contact Information Copyright 2001 Beth Burns Attribution required for distribution/duplication. We appreciate you passing this message on with our full contact information provided. We encourage you to ask others to subscribe to The Bright Side or Growth, at www.BrightSideCoaching.com/subscribe.htm Your email address is secure and will not be sold or used unethically. To unsubscribe, please follow the link below.
